The following are the official rules of my own Phantom Menace drinking game. Please note that, if followed to the letter, these rules will inebriate you. Please drink as responsibly as you can while playing an irresponsible drinking game. And stay in school. Because knowledge is power.
DRINK . . .
- Whenever an alien is introduced that is clearly based on a broad racial stereotype.
- Whenever actor Ian McDiarmid appears as a hologram.
- Whenever a battle droid says "roger roger."
- Whenever Queen Amidala changes into a new outfit.
- Whenever Captain Panaka says something cynical.
- Whenever scatological humor makes you wonder if this is really a Star Wars film.
- Whenever Ric Olie (the pilot of the Queen's ship) delivers exposition.
- Whenever Qui-Gon Jinn demonstrates poor phone etiquette by hanging up on Obi-Wan without saying goodbye.
- Whenever Anakin says something that no real human being would ever actually say. "Yipee!" is a good example.
- Whenever you suspect that something might be going on between Shmi Skywalker and Qui-Gon Jinn.
- Whenever the word "midichlorians" is used.
- Whenever the terms of an incredibly confusing wager are changed.
- Whenever a pod racer is disqualified, killed, or knocked out of the race.
- Whenever Obi-Wan or Darth Maul do something genuinely impressive.
- Whenever someone gets cut in half and falls down a seemingly endless shaft.
- Whenever there's an awkward moment of pseudo-romance between a teenage girl and a nine year-old boy.
- Whenever you lose the will to live.
You're not making this sound better!!
ReplyDeleteThis game is WINNING!!! Seriously though, imagine how well hydrated you'd be if you played with water instead of booze!
ReplyDelete