Goldfinger

1964's Goldfinger is arguably the quintessential Bond film, creating the basic formula that has been repeated ad nauseam to the current day. Certainly, Dr. No and From Russia With Love (more on them later) contain many of the common conventions (colorful villains, Bond the baccarat player, underground lairs) but they don't have that familiar Bond feel to them. Watch the opening of Dr. No, for instance, with its abstract dot opening, followed by "three blind mice" sequence. Does this feel like a Bond film?

At any rate, Goldfinger is where it all solidified- strange, perhaps, in that it is the only early Bond film to not deal with the organization called SPECTRE (SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion in case you were wondering what the acronym stood for), an organization that was used by the filmmakers of the Bond films to avoid offending the Russians, as well as tie the films together. No, this Bond film has the balls to make the villain a bullion dealer (named Auric Goldfinger, oh very subtle Ian Fleming, I suppose the girl's going to be named Pussy Galore- oh, wait, she is) who is working with the Red Chinese to detonate a dirty bomb in Fort Knox, an act designed to 1: throw the economy of the United States into complete disarray, and 2: drive up the value of Goldfinger's own stockpile of gold. It's a plan that makes complete sense- hell, the way in which it is executed even seems plausible. Not to say that the plot of, say, From Russia With Love is implausible, but it's certainly one of the better ones of the entire series.

Connery too seems to have grown more comfortable in the role, and I think this is certainly his best work as Bond, and Oddjob is perfect as the muscle to Goldfinger's brains. The showdown between him and Bond in Fort Knox is unforgettable, though I actually tend to prefer the fight between Bond and Red Grant in From Russia With Love. Goldfinger himself is an astoundingly great Bond villain- vain, petty, and ruthless, he's been the template for nearly every megalomaniac Bond has faced since. Dr. No was certainly memorable, but you got the sense that he actually kind of cared for his employees- his base has some very practical safety features, and he wasn't just murdering people out of hand. Goldfinger, on the other hand, goes through the trouble of explaining his plot to the mafia-types who've provided the materials crucial to the raid on Fort Knox, makes them an offer, kills the one man who refuses, and then kills the others anyway, because, hey, why not? And, I mean, the guy even had an entire room built for the presentation!

And, sure, there are things that are patently ridiculous- the first being the fact that Bond has somehow been able to wear a well pressed dinner jacket under a wetsuit, or Oddjob's hat that can somehow cut cleanly through the neck of a stone statue, or the fact that someone living in the 60's would ever be able to get away with the name PUSSY GALORE, but these elements feel right in the world of the film, and help us shut the more critical parts of our brain down for a bit so we can enjoy the movie.

So, Goldfinger makes the top of the list for Sean Connery. Now let's take a look at the others.

2: From Russia With Love. A close contender for the top slot, From Russia With Love benefits from a decent plot (the villains want to kill James Bond and steal a Russian decoding machine in the process), and a number of memorable villains- Robert Shaw as Red Grant shines, but Lotte Lenya as Rosa Klebb is definitely my favorite. And let's not forget to mention that this is the first appearance of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the cat stroking mastermind who has been parodied oh so many times (Dr. Evil, Dr. Klaw, and Greenback from Danger Mouse spring immediately to mind.) And, for my money, Daniela Bianchi is by far the most attractive of the early Bond women. Ohhh, Chames. All of that said, there's something about the film that just doesn't feel like a Bond movie- this is, in fact, part of its charm, but it made all the difference when comparing it to Goldfinger.

3: Dr. No. The first Bond film, Dr. No had to do a lot of heavy lifting to get the series off the ground, and though it's still very watchable, it's also a little dull by comparison to its descendants. Still, there's some beautiful sets, tight dialogue, and a lot of iconic moments- Honey Ryder striding out of the ocean in her white bikini, Dr. No crushing a metal statue with his metallic hands, and, of course, Sean Connery delivering his trademark statement: "Bond . . . James Bond."

4: Diamonds Are Forever. I know what you may be thinking. "Diamonds Are Forever?! Dave, you've gone mad!" But hear me out. Yes, the plot is patently ridiculous. Yes, Sean Connery probably should not have returned to the series. Yes, the climax of the movie is so similar to an Austin Powers film as to make it hilarious. But think about this: compared to the remaining films on this list, how much more entertaining is Diamonds Are Forever? You've got to admit that Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd are fascinating to watch, Tiffany Case is a legit Bond girl, and Charles Gray makes for an extremely entertaining Blofeld. It's worth watching if only to see the part where Bond stumbles upon the filming of a faux moon landing, and the astronauts attack him without breaking character.

5: You Only Live Twice. This one does have a spectacular finale, and finally reveals the identity of SPECTRE's number 1 man, played by a delightfully bizarre Donald Pleasance, but frankly the movie is something of a slog. You could easily lose a whole hour of the film and not miss it. There are so many moments when the villains could have simply killed Bond by shooting him, but keep him hanging around it's laughable. "What are you, feeding him?"

6: Never Say Never Again. Though not officially a part of the Bond series, being an independently produced film that was the result of a protracted legal battle, 1983's Never Say Never Again is actually a pretty decent film all things considering- Connery is still believable as an aging Bond, and there's some nice action sequences. Unfortunately, however, it's also a remake of 1965's Thunderball, and just feels wrong somehow. And consider the incredibly anti-climactic underwater finale.

7: Thunderball. Thunderball is, for lack of a better word, boring. The reason for this is quite simple: the film has no built in sense of mystery or suspense, something which a spy thriller, um, needs. But no, for some reason the screenwriters thought it would be a good idea to show the villains discussing their plans, and following that up by revealing how they're going to go through with them. Then, well, they go through with them. Then we're stuck with an hour and a half of James Bond trying to figure things out that we ALREADY KNOW. You'll be on the edge of your seat, believe me. Oh, no, wait, you won't. Frankly, my favorite scene of the film is the SPECTRE boardroom scene, where you know one of two guys is about to buy it, but you don't know who. Because of, you know, suspense. I preferred a scene of mostly expository dialogue to an entire film supposedly full of action. Not a good sign. Also, the finale feels like it goes on forever. It's the final fight of the film and I kept thinking, god, when is this going to be over? Boo, Thunderball, boo!

Tune in next time for the George Lazenby year.